Wow, what a great question. I’m with Cindy on a lot of points, it’s not an easy question to answer. At first, I wanted to glibly say, “Great! I feel GREAT when I think!” but a my over-riding skeptical side knows that’s just not true.
To work it through, I charted out my “logical” thought processes so that I could pay closer attention to how I feel when I think.
It is messy. It is complicated. It is unformed, slippery, and partially inaccurate.
But it’s compelling and pulls me and demands my attention. My associative trails are strongly intertwined, sometimes very nonsensically.
With stern self-discipline, I try to force myself to seek clarity, organization and structure but another part of me romps about like it’s a playground, summersaulting over fascinating connections that delight and amuse me. I am rewarded by a good idea just enough to not ever get fully organized. The mess brings serendipitous collisions of insight which are so pleasant they over-ride the anxiety and fear of the chaos. Even though sometimes, no insight comes, and only entropy remains.
Sometimes the vast array of possibilities paralyzes me and I am in no position to write it out. At this stage, I usually consult friends, colleagues, the network and The Search begins. Finding results from The Search is one of the most exciting parts of thinking as new, unknown or unconsidered trails suddenly appear and the connections deepen, re-associate, re-align, or fade away altogether.
Normally, I would never click publish on a mess of a post like this but these are my #thoughtvectors and that’s how I feel when I think…